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Finding my Identity

Posted Sep 29, 2016

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The interesting thing about being in an abusive relationship is that it often happens without you even knowing.

Or you tell yourself that words or being controlled isn’t abusive. Little things turn into big things and before you know it you are in an abusive relationship. Feeling like you have to walk on eggshells with what you say quickly turns into being hit when you say the “wrong” thing. I have been out of mine for 8 years now. But when I look back at it that is exactly how it feels. Almost like I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening and then one day I realized I was in an abusive relationship.

One of the hardest things for me was feeling like I lost my identity. I lost who I was and everything that was important to me. Slowly, but surely piece by piece my identity was lost. Essentially I was lost. Every time I left I thought it was the last time. But something always happened to cause me to go back. Looking back now I am aware the reason I went back was because it was all I knew. That relationship stole everything that I was at the time and in it’s own odd way it was the only security that I knew. Then one day I woke up and realized I was done. It was like a light switch. I was about to open my first personal training studio and he didn’t support me. That is what it took for me to finally walk away for good.

Leaving an abusive relationship isn’t easy. It took me a long time to find my self worth again and find out what was truly important to me, and to trust. The whole time I was in my abusive relationship no one knew about it. But once I was out and I shared what happened with my friends and family I had the support I needed to heal and move on. I am sure all people feel different about this, but I believe that sort of relationship will never leave you. It is something that I will always have to deal with on a daily basis. Leaving is hard. Moving on and healing is hard. But everyone can do it.

8 years later I am living my passion. I own 2 fitness companies and spend my days helping people find the best version of themselves. I am in a relationship with a man that loves and supports me. And I am in a place where I feel comfortable sharing my story. It took awhile but I am happy to be able to share my past because every woman in an abusive relationship needs to know she can find herself again. That she can move on, be happy and be loved.

– Stacey Hogbin
Co-Owner of Wevive Fitness

Join Stacey as she brings awareness and raises funds for WIN House at the upcoming Paint with Your Heart event – More information here.